On both devices: turn Wi-Fi and Bluetooth on, turn Personal Hotspot off, unlock the screens, and set AirDrop to Everyone for 10 Minutes (Control Center → hold the network tile → AirDrop). Keep them within about 9 m (30 ft), then restart both if they still don't see each other.

The short explanation

AirDrop uses Bluetooth to find nearby devices and a direct Wi-Fi link to transfer. Personal Hotspot, VPN settings, Focus modes and “Contacts Only” visibility, which requires both people to have each other’s Apple Account email or phone in Contacts, often block it.

Since iOS 16.2, “Everyone” reverts to Contacts Only after 10 minutes, so you may need to set it again.

Symptoms

  • The other iPhone or Mac doesn't appear in AirDrop.
  • “Waiting…” then “Declined” or “Failed”.
  • AirDrop works only one way.

Common causes

  • Wi-Fi/Bluetooth off or Personal Hotspot on.
  • Visibility set to Receiving Off or Contacts Only.
  • Devices too far apart or locked.
  • Firewall on Mac blocking incoming connections.

Try these fixes

  1. Turn on Wi-Fi and Bluetooth, off HotspotOn both devices (you don't need to be on the same network).
  2. Set visibilityiPhone: Settings → General → AirDrop → Everyone for 10 Minutes. Mac: Control Center → AirDrop → Everyone.
  3. Unlock and move closerKeep screens on and devices within 9 m.
  4. Mac firewallSystem Settings → Network → Firewall → Options: untick Block all incoming connections.
  5. Restart both devicesThen try again.
  6. Update softwareInstall the latest iOS/macOS on both.
Check it's fixed: The other device appears in the AirDrop share sheet and files transfer.

Avoiding it in future

Keep both devices updated and set visibility before sending.